StoneToss: Episode 27

 

Comic Name: Pibble Quibble

Description: Wassap, dawg?

Mouseover: Gas the cats, breed war now.

Originally Published: 3/15/2018

What The Comic Is: A man stops his friend in his tracks, warning of a pit bull. The friend argues with the man, telling him that the danger of the breed is the owner and not the dog. The man inquires what is unique about pit bull owners. The man walking the the dog is revealed to be a stereotypical black man complete with wife beater and gold chain, prompting the friend to awkwardly mumble.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: That pit bulls are only violent because they are owned/bred by black people, who train them for dog fighting.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: As the comic's name suggests, there's been an ongoing quibble over pibbles for some time ('pibble' is a shorthand nickname for the pit bull; which itself is a slang name given to the American Pit Bull Terrier breed. American Pit Bull Terriers are most often recognized as being the "pit bull" breed, though several other breeds of terrier and bull dog also informally share the name). "Are pit bulls naturally aggressive" is the point for debate. Some argue that they are not, as a breed, genetically inclined to aggression while others argue that pit bulls are, indeed, naturally violent animals. While there are debates over the breed's natural behavior, there are several common myths associated with the breed, including the myths that pit bulls can 'lock' their jaws, their brains never stop growing and such lead to mental problems/aggression, among other numerous myths.

But fuck that shit. You didn't come here for a Wikipedia article on pit bulls. You came to examine why StoneToss is a racist dumbass who doesn't have friends. StoneToss alludes that pit bulls are aggressive because black people own them, which is kind of like an intentionally dishonest bias of truth. Sure, you can find plenty of people who happen to be black who breed and own dogs used in fighting. Funny enough, however, you find almost every color of person taking part in the sport, either as an organizer, breeder, 'trainer' or spectator. Dog fighting has strong ties to organized crime syndicates and so much money is generated through the illegal sport that all 50 state in the USA have made it a felony. It is also a federal felony. It is a felony to spectate a dogfight. It is a felony to bring minors to a dogfight, etc. 

Dogfighting is pretty epidemic in the USA's deep southern states, as is its cousin sport, cock fighting (pitting roosters against one another in the same fashion). All types of people partake in the sport, especially with its connections to organized crime. StoneToss could have just made a comic about a breed of doing being abused and selectively trained and bred for fighting and left it at that. But some distant, forlorn node in his grey matter shot out a scattering of electric pulses, sending the words "MAKE IT RACIST" to the parts of his brain that control webcomics. 

Of course the comic doesn't even bother to describe what specifically about black people owning a pit bull supposedly makes the dog aggressive. Is it because StoneToss thinks all dog fighting is done by black people? Is it because he thinks black people are ghetto? Is it just supposed to be a vague "all of the above" thing that we're just expected to assume? StoneToss got as far as 'black man bad' before he got tired, farted and then jerked off to loli hentai.

Comic Name: Snake in the Grass

Description: (((big government)))

Mouseover: 1776 gas the king, revolutionary war now

Originally Published: 3/20/2018

What The Comic Is: A man receives a lens evaluation. His eye doctor shows him an image of the "Don't Tread On Me" flag, though the man's vision is blurry. The man tells his eye doctor that he sees a swastika. 

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Jews control the government, making them akin to Britain pre-American revolution and that it's stupid to liken the "Don't Tread On Me" flag to the Nazi emblem, despite the American Revolution being compared to the rise of Nazism.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: We have a real gem of a comic today, folks. This comic is not only stupid, but also contradicts itself when you add the description and mouseover together. We're entering a level of deep stupidity, here. StoneToss doesn't normally think before he draws a comic, which especially makes this level of dumbassery almost impressive. I, myself, would've literally had to put consideration into making a comic this fucking dumb. StoneToss does it like it's a natural artform. Like the miracle of birth; only replace 'miracle' with 'tragedy' and 'birth' with 'idiotic abortion created by a smug neo-Nazi trying to look smart'.

The 'don't step on the snake' flag, otherwise known as the Gadsden flag (named for the man who designed it; Christopher Gadsden) depicts specifically a timber rattlesnake that is coiled and ready to bite whoever steps on it. The flag was designed in 1775, during the American revolution and war against Britain. The snake represents America, ready to strike against Britain (or whoever else) would impede on its liberty. As an historical flag it's a cute origin; the snake was chosen as a reference to an earlier political cartoon drawn by Benjamin "Hundie" Franklin, the famous 'Join or Die' image of a rattle snake cut into sections that represented the American colonies. It wasn't a threat, Franklin was suggesting that the colonies needed to join together or continue being crushed under British rule, dramatically framing it as they either joined together or perished. Franklin suggested that in exchange for Britain sending its convicted criminals to American colonies such a Georgia, that the colonies should send back rattlesnakes. Maybe this was because Franklin found rattlesnakes to be harmful and vicious, or maybe it's because he was really, really into them like a weird snake guy and actually thought Britain would appreciate the gift. The man is dead now, so I guess we can only speculate.)

But fuck that shit. You didn't come here for a Wikipedia article on rattlesnakes. You came to examine why StoneToss is an anti-Semitic dumbass who doesn't have friends. So first, let's examine the Gadsden flag in a modern sense. These days the flag has been co-opted by annoying conservatives and libertarians who have awful taste in vexillology to essentially display... nothing. Just a vague stance against anyone in general they don't agree with. Normally democrats or liberals. We're taking a flag that concerned an oversea monarchy taxing people in the colonies and watering it down to a flag concerned with a political party that thinks black people should get food stamps. Of course, the other side of the coin is that many who display the flag and consider themselves libertarian or whatever else tend to espouse bigoted or oppressive views that they label as "personal liberty", which is kind of how the Gadsden flag has become associated with backwards xenophobia and values of discrimination. 

The Gadsden flag is sort of like the Naruto headband of political ideologies. It's flown sometimes as a historical period piece of an integral part of the USA's history, but mostly it's just used by weird neckbeards who want to cosplay a fantasy world. Little known historical fact: The founding fathers all wore Akatsuki robes. And George Washington's wooden teeth? They weren't made out of wood at all... they were made out of THE SHARINGAN1111

So what is so especially stupid about this installment of StoneToss, anyways? Well, he compares the American revolution with the Nazis and the holocaust. Incredibly bizarre reach, but okay. What he seems to mean by this is that the holocaust was sort of Germany's "revolution" against their own cruel oppressors, the Jews. This is obviously very fucking stupid, and StoneToss doubles down on 'big government' by inferring it to mean Jewish illuminati. We can ignore the fact that governments don't get much bigger than a complete dictatorship, but I digress. However, he's also trying to separate the Gadsden flag from the Swastika by mocking people who think the images are one in the same, apparently thanks to the meddling of the nasty jEwIsH wOrLd OrDeR... So then which is it? Is the Gadsden flag the American version of the holocaust? Were the Jews the German version of King George III? Or does the Gadsden flag have nothing to do with the Swastika and it's stupid to call the two similar?

In a single comic StoneToss has managed to draw a direct comparison to the king of Britain and the Jews (albeit an incredibly stupid one) while also claiming that the flag used in the American revolution is in no way related to the Swastika. 

You know what? Spare Britain the rattlesnakes. Let's send them all up StoneToss's dickhole instead. At least then he'd be funny to look at, instead of just confusing and pointless.