StoneToss: Episode 50

Foreword: The blog has now passed 200k views and this post marks the 50th StoneToss installment. I couldn't, or rather I probably wouldn't, do it without all you kind, sexy readers. Thank you all, and please enjoy this extra long&juicy 50th StoneToss Is An Idiot.

Comic Name: Happily Never After

Description: Happy Valentine's day!

Mouseover: Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

Originally Published: 2/14/2019

What The Comic Is: A man and woman lay in bed, the man is clearly 'rough' looking, with unshaven facial hair, a sort of tattoo/scar on his arm (StoneToss can't be bothered to make his art look like anything, I guess), and worst of all... chest hair. The man and woman both consent to sex. A third man, however, protests his consent. The woman, rightfully angry, demands to know who he is. He is shown to be a well groomed man in traditional, conservative business attire holding a briefcase and a "Congrats it's a boy" blue balloon. He answers that he is the man who would've married her. The woman, tears in her eyes, lunges to embrace the man but he dissipates into thin air.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Women who have sex are whores and they ruin their chances at finding a good man, because good men only want virgin women.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: Boy howdy I have been waiting for so long to get to this comic. It's one of my favorite StoneToss pieces because it's just so, so, so fucking weak and pathetic. StoneToss isn't even trying to have a funny or bouncy punchline with this one, it's literally just him being straight-faced depressed that he can't get laid and that women fuck other men. It's got such limpdick energy that just looking at it for too long can probably give you soy cancer or whatever ridiculous bullshit StoneToss believes other men suffer from, while he sits alone in his home, drawing shitty comics set in a fictional safe space world where women are punished for their sexual behavior. This is literally StoneToss' pathetic little clown world, where he gets to depict women as actually caring about some sexist asshole's stance on wedding the deflowered.

The comic serves, then, as a cautionary tale to women, telling them to be mindful of who is consenting to their extramarital sexcapades, because once they have sex with a man (who of course will be a 'bad man' with body hair and tattoos and gold chains, because that's what bad men without jobs look like, right?) then the 'good men' (baby boomettes who use blue for boys and work in an office, because that's what a good man looks like, right?) will never want them. I would say it's pretty depressing if a man values literally nothing other than a woman's virginity, but the relationships I've had have always been very enlightened, healthy and beneficial for both parties involved. StoneToss' relationships, if they exist at all, have probably been layered in some type of abuse coming from StoneToss (likely community-sanctioned by the shitty church StoneToss is brainwashed in). So I guess given StoneToss and his complete and abject failure at providing for a woman, it's not a big surprise he sinks to deranged little realities where all women ruin their chances at the NICE GUYtm. The comic is then even funnier when you realize: The man not giving his consent to the sex is literally StoneToss' own self-insert, and this comic is his vehicle for living out his petty, non-existent revenge. 

StoneToss literally made a comic about women cucking him with other men. Hahaha lolz.

Comic Name: Fatherly Doody

Description: Like the comics? Support my work here! (links to an abandoned newproject2 page for StoneToss. newproject2 is a now defunct Patreon alternative that was set up in largely the same style as Patreon, but was welcoming of alt-right dumbasses like StoneToss or Metokur. The site always relied heavily on content creators splitting money with them, but was officially canned in mid-2020 when Master Card decided that supporting a website used by openly bigoted, fascist people was a bad idea).

Mouseover: What's the difference? 

Originally Published: 2/19/2019

What The Comic Is: A man and wife hold their sleeping baby while rudely staring at a gay couple. The man, very rudely, openly wonders what the gay couple's family is like. The gay man, rightfully offended at the man and woman's total lack of social tact, calls them bigots and tells them that their families are the same. His partner stands by his side, holding their own baby wrapped in linen. The gay men clasp each other's hand as it is revealed that the baby is actually a piece of shit.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: You can't reproduce in a same-sex relationship, therefore same-sex relationships are lesser to 'normal' relationships.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: Around the time this comic was published, a meme was going around the internet where people were using comics or photographs to explain how different cultures/groups of people were the same as others, though there was always some sort of humorous catch to the explanation that betrayed the "same as you" message. For instance, one of these memes might be something like "How do Mexicans take showers? The same as everyone else. First we turn on the water, then we get the sombreros". Normally they were very self-aware and poked fun at the person making the comic. Because of this, these comics were very inclusive and wholesome, urging everyone to participate and share fun self-embraced stereotypes about their culture or nationality (British people shower with tea, Japanese people shower with anime, etc.) 

StoneToss saw this meme and thought, "How can I take something wholesome, where all people of the world come together and laugh with one another, and make it awful?" The answer was this comic. The gay couple's baby being a lump of shit is an unfunny joke about gay anal sex, and the mouse over text is obviously a reference to the "what's the difference/same as you" meme. It's also yet another comic where StoneToss whines about the death of the nuclear family, because god forbid other people exist and be different to StoneToss and his church group.

Someone should tell StoneToss that gay couples can adopt, which provides thousands of orphaned children a loving and providing home, with statistically far less violence and domestic abuse when compared to man-woman relationships. Someone should also tell StoneToss that in order for a man and woman to create a child together, the man has to be better than a reprehensible bigot with no real-life friends or experience with women.

Comic Name: Her-bivore

Description: Bone appetit. 

Mouseover: Sausage party.

Originally Published: 2/28/2019

What The Comic Is: A woman laments at her loneliness, silently crying at a table. She then complains about her hunger as her stomach grumbles, her shirt is revealed to read 'GO VEGAN'. It is then shown that she sits in a room surrounded by meat.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Women are lonely because their standards are too high.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: StoneToss must have been going through a very, very strong incel phase right around this time. I mean, the idiot is always going through incel phases, but I mean to say that it must've been particularly strong when he made these comics. This is the third comic in short succession where he complains, somehow, about either women or 'traditional' relationships. 

In this comic, the woman is a vegan surrounded by meat. This is a direct joke about vegans but it's also a metaphor for women who can't find a "GOOD GUYtm" because they won't lower their 'standards', or if they'd be open to trying "new things", then they wouldn't be so unfulfilled. It's really, really standard incel bullshit. The women may also be a lesbian, twisting the metaphor slightly to "she's lesbian and lonely, if only she'd choose men she'd have so many options", which is really equally incel-ish and stupid, so it barely matters either way. 

I wouldn't be shocked if StoneToss was dumped or rejected by a woman around this time, which spurred him to make a slew of idiotic comics bitching about women and relationships. Yes, if only women would lower their standards from "healthy, put-together man" to "whiney manchild who's whole world view is controlled by bigoted church sermons and he lacks complete and total respect of any kind for women". Why are the stupid femoids so dumb and lonely if only they weren't egotists who refuse to eat the food that's all around them, then StoneToss would finally get a girlfriend :,( 

Also, though, which is it? Do women partake in the wild sausage buffet that surrounds them, or do they save themselves for the one special hotdog they've always been looking for? This comic is actually so fucking dumb, even by StoneToss standards, that the comments on it are actually a healthy mix of people refuting the comic's meaning, arguing about how stupid it is, etc. It noticeably lacks several of the 'usual suspects' who constantly comment bigotry in agreeance with whatever the comic is saying, and the people mocking the comic have a good mix of both up and downvotes on their comments. This is highly unusual, as normally anyone in StoneToss' comment section who calls his comic out for being shit is hit with a dozen or so downvotes and few to no upvotes.

StoneToss offered his inceldom to his hounds and they actually rejected it. Fucking lol.

Comic Name: Sticks and Stones

Description: Fun Fact: It’s illegal to call a transsexual the “wrong” pronoun in NYC. (text links to a Breibart article that completely misrepresents and hyper-exaggerates what the actual law really is).

Support my work here! (a link to the same defunct newproject2 website)

Mouseover: IT'S MA'AM!

Originally Published: 3/5/2019

What The Comic Is: A trans woman explains that 'thought crimes' don't exist. A man retorts with "Whatever, dude.", which 'triggers' the trans woman. The final panel shows the man being arrested while the trans woman sobs to a police officer.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: Once again, "Thought crimes" comes from the Orwell novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, where 'Thoughtcrimes', or expressions of controversial opinion or dissent against the government of fictional Oceania, are punishable crimes. StoneToss has always been fascinated with the concept of Thoughtcrime, and he uses it constantly in his comics as a way of trying to show that fiction has become reality. Of course, his shitty argument never, ever gets further than "I can't be a bigot anymore!! WTF THOUGHTCRIME1111", but please ignore reality in favor of StoneToss' childish delusions. 

For the record, it's not necessarily 'illegal' to misgender trans people in New York City, at least not in the way this stupid comic portrays it. In the comic, the man casually calls the trans woman "dude". 'Dude' is already considered a pretty safe, multi-gendered term as it is (most women and trans women will tell you they don't mind being called 'dude' and do not see it as being gendered, rather more of a synonym for 'friend, pal, etc.'). The trans woman is so triggered and alarmed by this that they sob uncontrollably as their aggressor is lead away in handcuffs. This is painting trans people as inherently fragile and weak, that even the most casual and harmless of misgenderings sets them off into a hysterical, self-righteous pity party that the government and laws/police have to protect them against.

It's also, obviously, trying to liken the NYCHRL (or New York City Human Rights Law) to Thoughtcrime, just because New York City passed a law that says official documents for employment/renting/whatever have to be mindful of preferred pronouns. In StoneToss' clown world, trans people are shocked and offended by the word 'dude'. In reality, StoneToss is shocked and offended by lukewarm legislation that does the bare minimum of recognizing that a minority of people exist.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but trans people existing will apparently cause you to make whiney comics.

Comic Name: Seeing Green

Description: Speaking of burning money, why not support my work? (another link to the defunct myproject2 website) 

Mouseover: Burn baby burn!

Originally Published: 3/7/2019

What The Comic Is: A business man unveils his new public green energy project, a machine labeled the "Eco 9000". A man questions what's so green about the invention. The businessman, dumping a sack of dollar bills into the contraption, responds that it is the fuel that is green.

What StoneToss Actually Thinks: Renewable energy is bad because it costs money.

Why It's Fucking Stupid: More boring, unoriginal arguments from StoneToss. This dipshit doesn't have a single original bone in his fucking body, I swear. He is literally incapable of making an original point, it's all just recycled propaganda nonsense that he picks up from his church or his online social circles.

You can tell when StoneToss knows at least a thing or two about his comic subject, because he'll go into a deeper detail about it either through pure exposition via spoken words or through some kind of imagery or double meanings. When he knows only a cursory amount about something, his comic about it will be much, much more skin-deep and basic, signaling to everyone his lack of knowledge on the subject. In this case, he is signaling that he doesn't know jackshit about green energy.

"The upfront cost/upkeep cost is high" is the traditional bad argument that opponents of green energy make. This is beyond stupid, because it's exactly like trying to argue "we can't make more coal plants or oil rigs because the upfront cost is just too high". It's a disingenuous and fake argument used to confuse voters into opposing windmills or solar panels by trying to suggest building them in the first place, or upkeeping them, will cost too much money, or they won't make enough money back. Never mind that most of these facts are using information that is going on two decades old, and that by today's standards green energy is beating out fossil fuels by wild margins, to the point that new wind and solar installments are literally less expensive than even the mere operating costs of coal powered plants.

 Right-leaning tools constantly parrot "GREEN ENERGY IS TOO EXPENSIVE" so it's no wonder where StoneToss picked up this perpetually overused talking point, and it's no wonder he doesn't explore the issue any further; because he doesn't fucking know anything else about it other than it allegedly is expensive. StoneToss is a good little sheep. Baa.

Thanks for 200k views. Keep expecting cool things from this dumb blog.